It’s no secret that men in relationships are usually on the prowl for some strange but if you plan to cheat on your partner and blame it all on your ‘male make-up’ well you should think again — it’s got nothing to do with your genes.

Kayt Sukel – she who pleasured herself in an fMRI machine for science (we know you’ve click off to go read that so we’ll wait you out. Done? Welcome back.)- explores this topic in her new book ‘Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex, and Relationships’.

“Evolutionary biologists will tell you that spreading the seed around is a better mating strategy for males—and certainly, there have been some genetic studies to show that men have genes that may push them to philander,” Sukel told us. “But there’s nothing to suggest they are ‘programmed’ to cheat.”

Sukel also points out that it’s hard to blame the way men are hardwired for their philandering ways when women cheat almost as much: 22% of men and 14% of women have cheated (or at least admitted to cheating) Sukel thinks the actual percentage is much higher, as do we, but her thoughts are based on studying research and our assumptions are based on the two-timers we call friends.

So, the “it’s the way men evolved” argument is not valid when you eventually get caught. We aren’t going to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t cheat, but, do everyone a favor and just break up with your girl first. It’s not fair to her. She’s probably too good for you anyway.

“No matter how tempted you may be, you can always decide that your relationship is more important than a little strange and just walk away,” says Sukel.