Lotaburger in El Paso?! The Top Six Reasons This Is a Great Thing

...which might be up a couple of notches soon. Let's just say Blake's ain't serving salads. But if you're looking for green chile cheeseburgers, chili Frito pies, pulled pork sam'iches, brownies or a chicken tender boat, they've got you covered.

I've never actually had the chicken tender boat, but I'm betting it'll be fried with enough oil to make it float pretty well.

...not "Lots Of". Not even "Lotta" as a made-up word like "Gotta". Make sure you get it right. It's "Lotaburger" with one "T", even though "Lota" brings to mind a vampy Bond girl with a penchant for fast cars and guns.

Or was that Austin Powers?

Either way, you won't be living quite so dangerously with Lotaburger, even with spicy green chile and deep fryers. And you're sure to spend a lot less money on baccarat.

...as in Angus beef.

Funny name, Angus. Outside of the kid from "Two and a Half Men" and Scotland, we don't know too many Anguses.

But the breed of bovine that begets Blake's beef? It's pretty good stuff.

It should be noted that Blake's doesn't flame-grill their meat, which to me -- outside of hiring Kate Upton to take my order -- would be one of the few things they could do to improve the experience. But start with good Angus beef, then add that green chile and something magic happens on its way to your mouth.

Something magic may happen two or three hours later, too; but that's just the green chile saying hello. Again.

Totally worth it.

...as in: my mind = BLOWN when I heard that, for the first time EVER, Blake's was going to open a location outside of New Mexico -- and El Paso would have the first store!

How much of a New Mexico tradition is Blake's? Just take a look at this picture from AMC's "Breaking Bad" featuring two of the best things about the show, which is set in Albuquerque. One is the lovely Anna Gunn as Skyler White. The other? What the White family gets when they go for take-out. I'd recognize that go-cup anywhere!

Gunn is actually a New Mexico native. I'm guessing someone could've taken this same picture back in her high school days.

Blake's has been a tradition all over the State of New Mexico since 1952, from small towns to big city (Albuquerque's pretty much it). El Paso will become the largest market Blake's will serve.

I think they'll like El Chuco a lot more than, say, Skyler's brother-in-law, Hank, did.

Not for Excellent? Excited? Sure, those too, but I don't live anywhere near Resler and Mesa, nor does most of El Paso.

However, the Journal's article says Blake's believes in its El Paso manifest destiny. Like Lewis and Clark in reverse, they're starting in the west but coming east.

Here's hoping they can find Loop 375 faster than Lewis and Clark found Oregon.

...salt-free.

Just kidding! Bet that got your attention, though.
No, "S" stands for Sizzle -- as in green chile with actual heat.

There is a certain fast-food chain in these parts that I enjoy as much as any Texan, and they, too, have a green chile cheeseburger. But the chile they put on their burgers might as well be parsley.

It has as much taste and is about as hot as the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

It's Bob Barker chile -- spayed and neutered.

You can tell they're playing to the Dallas market, and that's fine. For Dallas. But El Paso eats chile for breakfast. And lunch and dinner, too!

Worry not, Chuco -- Blake's knows how and where to get the chile with the sizzle. This is good stuff.

Now, to the thrift shop. Gotta pop some tags so I can find me a candy-cane blazer and a blue top hat.