Real Life Idiocracy: Former El Paso Strip Club Turns Into Starbucks
The newest Starbucks in West El Paso is NOW on the site of a legendary strip club.
If you didn’t feel like watching that video, the premise is that it’s five hundred years in the future, the world’s most average man (Luke Wilson) is now the smartest person in the world and human culture has de-evolved into terminal stupidity. “Starbucks” in 2506 A.D. is now a chain of brothels. They offer lattes for $200, “hot” lattes for $2,000, and “full-body” lattes for $50,000.
The newest Starbucks in El Paso is on Executive Center Blvd at the I-10 westbound exit. That’s the former location of Prince Machiavelli’s, a legendary strip club. With its faux-castle façade, how many parents had this question from their four-year-old daughters…
”Daddy, do real-life princesses live in that castle”? My answer when I got that question was, “One does. There’s also a “Duchess” and at least two “Mercedes”, depending on the night.”
Prince Machiavelli’s was demolished in 2014 but had stood vacant for several years before that. But, through the Nineties and 2000s, it was the only “Gentleman’s Lounge” on the Westside of town. Now, it’s a brand new Starbucks. The strippers are long gone but employees report that sometimes, late at night, you can still hear the sound of “Slow an’ Easy” by Whitesnake playing hauntingly in the distance.
So far, though, no “Full Body Gentleman’s Lattes” OR Brawndo (the thirst mutilator) is being served at the new location.