Yoko Ono
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I have never been able to tell if Yoko Ono ever believed she had any talent or if everything she ever did was just a big, elaborate joke that only her and John were in on. Here new line of men's clothing does nothing to answer that question.

How can someone be so objectively awful at everything she does and still be considered some kind of pop culture royalty?  I get that when John was alive people would say Yoko was great as a way of kissing John's ass. But John has been dead for over 30 years now and yet Yoko is still allowed to do crap like this:

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This is part of Yoko's new line of menswear being sold by the Opening Ceremony brand. Most upsetting is Yoko's claim that the designs were "inspired by John Lennon."  I'm just not sure how the long-dead John Lennon would feel if he knew he had "inspired" a line of bondage-wear for gay teenage rent-boys. John was certainly unconventional in many ways, but when it came to his own personal accoutrement he had a working-class sensibility.

I just can't picture John Lennon ever wearing something like this ...

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So, what we've got here is your basic see-through plexiglass sandwich board with two hotel desk bells affixed to the front. That's not even clothing! It's construction supplies for a reception area.

Oh, and it also cost $700.

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Is that supposed to be John's hand???  According to Yoko, this line was inspired by John Lennon. And that hand looks way too big to be Yoko's. I think if Mark David Chapman had known that some day in the future, John wouldn't be able to stop his wife from putting his name on a line of a twink-porn fantasy wardrobe, he would have had a change of heart and turned the gun on himself.

"I like the size AAA bra with the nickles for nipples," said the most attention-starved gay teen in the world, "But don't you have anything a little ... gayer?"

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" A cartoon nut-sack on my chest? Perfect!!"

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OK, here we go!  A nice pair of trousers! I could even see John Lennon wearing a pair a pants like these. Hell, I could see myself wearing these!

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Oh. Of course it has a mesh seat so you can display your buttocks. You know, in 37 states you can be convicted for gay prostitution just for owning a pair of pants like this. Why does Yoko Ono feel the need to make a line of gay fetish wear and claim that it was inspired by John Lennon?!?

"Oh.  Right..."
"Oh.  Right..."
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I know some people will look at this and say "Oh, Yoko's crazy." Maybe that's so, but there are a lot of mentally unstable people walking around New York who might design horrible clothes but they wouldn't have any luck finding a clothier, distributor, financier, etc., etc.   Yoko is able to do this crap because she used to be married to a guy who actually did have a lot of talent and unique vision ... and HE told everybody that she did, too!! How does that even happen? I've heard Yoko sing and it's inhumanly horrible ...

I've read her poetry. It is dumb ...

This hangs in a museum someplace. Seriously.
This hangs in a museum someplace. Seriously.
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It makes me wonder if she's actually good at anything. Like, if she decided to make scrambled eggs, would it be made out of marbles and Downy fabric softener?

And yet, when Yoko makes/designs/caterwauls something it gets a ton of attention. I'll be luck if 30 people read this article all the way to the end. Ah well, it's what I get for not having the foresight to bone John Lennon, I guess.

 

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