‘Satinists’ Vandalize Historic Bridge

Police in Indiana are searching for the people who vandalized an historic covered wooden bridge. The unknown vandals drew swastikas and pentagrams…and also the following chilling message:

That’s right. “Hail Satin”. Clearly, the people who wrote this are…Satinists. You may have heard urban legends about the Satinists. Evil, warped individuals who worship glossy, silk-like fabrics. You may have heard about their Satin Worshipping rituals, in which they wear luxurious pajamas and camisoles while pledging their never-ending allegiance to that most unholy of cloth.

Satin-worship hit it’s peak in the 1970s when disco pants and bomber jackets made of the infernal material were all the rage. Satinism then went underground in the 1980s being mostly worn as station jackets by radio deejays before all but disappearing in the 1990’s during the period known as the Flannel Reformation. But now, it seems, Satinism is making a comeback, mostly in the form of luxurious bedding and ballet slippers. But if Satanism is back, can Charmeuse be very far behind?