Five Gifts El Paso Boyfriends Would Love & Five They’d Hate

As an experienced El Paso boyfriend I thought, hey, what would I LOVE from my partner? And what would I HATE?

HERE ARE FIVE THINGS I WOULD LOVE

1. A Co-Signer

Everybody knows El Paso boyfriends have bad credit. This year help your guy out with a signature and the financial bond of a lifetime.

2. A Massage, Downtown

Being an El Paso boyfriend can lead to a lot of tension in the neck, back, and upper shoulders. That's why I recommend every El Paso boyfriend get a good deep tissue Korean massage. You'll be a legendary partner, because when you go downtown they go downtown.

3. Cologne, In Gallon Form

El Paso boyfriends are dominant creatures  which is why they spend at least $10,000 every year on cologne. It's a way of warding off rivals and attracting the finest partners with the worst sense of smell.

4. Child Support, Support

We've all been there, an El Paso boyfriend whos a little light on this month's child support. Treat your man right and help him get that crazy Rhonda off his back.

5. Miners Football Tickets

On a beautiful fall weekend take your boo to a Miner's football game and see the El Paso hometown heroes hit the gridiron!

HERE ARE FIVE THINGS I WOULD HATE

1. Condoms

Who wants a gift no one will use?

2. Neck Ties

Every guy has his own style and is usually so tired of wearing a collar and leash of his own choosing five days a week that the sight of another necktie might literally make him vomit.

3. Family Party

EP Boyfriends have large and very involved families. Why would you force on them today what they suffer everyday?

4. A Pregnancy Test

To be honest it should have happened sooner because of the "no condom" issue but national boyfriend day is terrible timing.

5. Miners Football Tickets

Let's face it, nobody likes to see a Miner football game. They haven't had more than 5 wins in a season for the past 30 years. No human or El Paso boyfriend would enjoy that 3-hour torture session.

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