Earlier this week, news broke that Korean dictator Kim Jong Il passed away due to a heart attack, and everyone besides North Korea pretty much rejoiced. Jong Il was a pretty cruel leader, but thanks to the insane propaganda that was spread around North Korea his people believed some crazy things about him. Turns out that he was not just a terrible dictator, but also in technical terms, koo-koo bananas. You won't believe some of the made-up “facts” about this guy.


flickr user Greg-O-Ree


“Cured” Shortness



He claimed to have a cure for short people. By “cure,” we mean that he told all the short people to hop on board a plane and then he proceeded to drop them on a deserted island. Cure? He may have used that term a bit loosely.



flickr user Harley Mac


Birth Foretold by Double Rainbow



Yes, that is correct. His actual biography claims that his birth was a glorious affair and when a double rainbow appeared, so did Kim Jong. It also claims that a new star appeared in the sky, too.

[ABC News]


flickr user asmythie


Created and Maintained Fake City



According to North Korean records, this city contains around 200 families, but observers state that it's pretty much abandoned. In reality, he constructed this city and maintained it in order to trick the South Koreans to come over the border. Wikipedia cites that in 2004 loudspeakers were put on top of the buildings to constantly project propaganda messages to the south.



flickr user WebWideJosh


Was World's Best Golfer



Not the worst lie in the world, but he had his people convinced that he would hit three or four holes-in-one per round of golf. This guy was apparently really good at golf.
[ABC News]




Kidnapped Director to Make Korean 'Godzilla' Film



Turns out Kim Jong Il was a big fan of Japanese monster movies, but he found one thing wrong with them — they were lacking that Korean aspect. So, he kidnapped director Shin Sang-ok from South Korea and forced him to make “critically acclaimed” movies. Kim Jong forced him to live in North Korea for almost 10 years until he escaped in 1986.

[ABC News]


flickr user hagerstenguy


Invented the Hamburger



We can see how this could be misunderstood, because he probably had one after seeing an outdated American TV show and thought he thought of it. Makes sense. We all know that Ronald McDonald created the hamburger, but nice try Kim Jong.



flickr user Horia Varlan


Coached 2010 North Korean Soccer Team with Invisible Cell Phone



No words can describe this. We just really feel sorry for anyone who believed this one.

[Weekly World News]




Was Very Fashion Savvy



Who can argue with this one? That same green sort of military outfit, and that hair?! Of course he was fashion savvy! Plus, if anyone made fun of his terrible outfit he would probably kill them.





Injected Blood of Virgins to Stay Young



On top of being a cruel dictator, a certified crazy person and a fashion genius, apparently Kim Jong was also a vampire. Did he actually do this? Hopefully not, but then again…



flickr user Darren Schofield


Could Control Weather



Yup, the people of North Korea actually believed that Kim Jong Il could control the weather. This guy was an incredible genius. He convinced an entire country that he was pretty much the smartest, best looking and most talented person to ever live.



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