Texas Bill Would Fine Men for “Unregulated Masturbatory Emissions”

Okay, before you get all up in arms about this proposed bill, realize that it was presented satirically. It was authored by Jessica Farrar who has said that the bill is in response to:

the current state law that requires doctor's give women considering an abortion the "A Woman's Right to Know" booklet, which Farrar refers to as a "guilt mechanism.

What else does this proposed bill have in it?

* The state must create a booklet called "A Man's Right to Know" that contains information on the benefits of and risks of vasectomies, Viagra prescriptions and colonoscopies. A man must review the booklet before getting the procedure.

* A doctor must get consent from the man before providing any of the treatments. The man may only get the treatment after waiting 24 hours and reviewing "A Man's Right to Know."

* A man will be fined $100 for "unregulated masturbatory emissions." The fines will benefit children in the care of the Department of Family and Protective Services.

* A man must receive a rectal exam and an MRI of his rectum before receiving treatments.

* A man can't sue a doctor for refusing to provide these treatments if the procedure violates the doctor's "personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs."

* The state must establish a registry of nonprofit organizations and hospitals that provide abstinence counseling, a supervising physician for "masturbatory emissions," and semen storage.

* "Masturbatory emissions" must be stored for the wife to use for conception at a later time.

The unfortunate part of the bill is there are people so dense that they would actually think it's been presented seriously. Let me repeat, this bill has been presented satirically. For those of you that are still butt hurt about the bill, satirically comes from satire, which means:

the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing,denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

In other words, it's not serious. It's a joke.