Here are the Official 2023 Predictions for El Paso
Everybody on the Buzz Adams Morning Show was tasked with writing “predictions” for 2023.
The predictions will be sealed and locked away until the end of the year. Then, we’ll see if anyone nailed it with any of their predictions.
We were asked for three different predictions:
1.) What’s something personal that you think will happen?
2.) What’s something LOCAL that you believe will come true?
3.) Finally, a wild card. Anything, local, national, or even of international import. Here’s what we have predicted.
- In 2023, Buzz will finally get his name on a billboard.
- Nico Adjemian will open a restaurant that will be a direct competitor of Chico’s: Nico’s Tacos.
- Joanna Barba will become TikTok famous and will end up having more money than Buzz.
- Packer’s running back Aaron Jones will open a gym in El Paso
- After 10 years of arguments and lawsuits, a fire will wipe out Duranguito in downtown El Paso.
- Aaron Rodgers retires from football, marries his Milwaukee Bucks girlfriend and STILL won’t talk to his own family.
- Wheel of Fortune gets canceled. Pat Sajak says, “I’ll take an ‘f’ and a ‘u’, please”.
- Buzz will have at least two more “toxica” girlfriend’s during the calendar year.
- Chuck DeBroder makes his triumphant turn to El Paso television.
- Nick Cannon will get a vasectomy.
- Scientists revise models and claim UNDER-population is the biggest global threat.
- Nico will become a famous, headlining comedian in 2023.
- Joanna will get a new cat.
- Megan will get a new baby.
- El Paso will finally get a Cheesecake Factory.
- If not a Cheesecake Factory, maybe an HEB?
- VH1 will bring back “Surreal Life”…with Kanye West as a housemate.
- Megan McCormick will go as M3gan the robot doll for Halloween. Will sprain both ankles attempting the M3gan Dance.
- El Paso City Council announces plans to build the downtown arena on the site of the current County Courthouse. The jail annex will be converted into a parking structure.
- President Joe Biden makes it official: he will NOT seek another term citing previously unknown “health issues”. A distraught Donald Trump, deprived of his chance for revenge, jumps from the top of a 40-foot-tall stack of classified documents. His fall is broken by a visiting Chris Christie.
- Nico will shock everyone by being the FIRST to arrive for work one morning. When 6 am rolls around, he realizes he accidentally came in on a Saturday.
- A law will be passed prohibiting Labron James from having ANYTHING to do with a reboot of any beloved Nineties comedy.
- Leonardo DiCaprio will date his first 30-year-old woman! He will describe the single date as “a once-in-a-lifetime, bucket list experience”.
- One of the Property Brothers will come out as “non-binary”…but it won’t be the one you think.
- A tragedy at King Charles’ coronation will result in Prince Harry, who wasn’t invited, being “King-Ralphed” to the British throne.
- Finally, Elon Musk introduces a revolutionary new energy source he calls “Klear” that somehow ends up destroying the Mona Lisa.