Now I'm not saying UTEP doesn't have ANY chance of beating Oklahoma at football, but here's a list of some unlikely things that would probably happen first.

Photo by Igor Rodrigues on Unsplash
Photo by Igor Rodrigues on Unsplash

Buzz NEVER again gets food in his beard

El Paso district attorney Yvonne Rosales taking responsibility for once.

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I wake up with an exact replica of Tom Cruise's hairline.

My credit score growing higher than 420

Buzz figuring out how to use a TV remote

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Michael Jordan turning down a bet

R. Kellys pee curing blindness

Reinstating Donald Trump as president for winning the 2020 election

Dr. Fauci turns out to be a serial killer, again.

Dr pepper curing diabetes

I became a famous battle rapper at the age of 45.. or any age, really.

Buzz married Giselle Bunchen, after her inevitable divorce.

Snoop Dogg having babies with Martha Stuart

Carrot Top Winning an Academy Award For Best Actor

Michael Jackson coming back to life just to reenact Thriller

Tyson chicken becoming Tyson pharmaceuticals

Photo by Ben Moreland on Unsplash
Photo by Ben Moreland on Unsplash

Jesus returning and starting a YouTube channel

Clowns becoming cool, at night

Leonardo DiCaprio dating a 26-year-old

Tommy Lee's penis getting smaller and Tommy Lee Jones's penis getting bigger

Texas Legalizing Marijuana

Pastafarianism, The Official State Religion

Jared Leto aging.

Joe Biden getting his memory back

Bill Cosby's Jailhouse Comedy Special on Netflix

Joe Biden putting his arm in his jacket, by himself

Cigarettes Curing Cancer

Alanis Morissette admitting it was Dave Coulier.

KLAQ playing "real rock"

Mexico pays for the wall

UP NEXT: See how much gasoline cost the year you started driving


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