QRotica Preview Done Stefon-Style
QRotica 2014 is Friday October 17th at Club 101 at 201 N. Stanton. Here is a little preview of what you can expect in the style of Bill Hader’s character “Stefon” from Saturday Night Live.
So, with no further ado, here’s our City Correspondent, Stefon.
El Paso’s hottest night-club is Club 101 at 201 North Stanton. They would’ve loved to have located one block south so they could have the actual address of “101” but, unfortunately, that property is currently being used as El Paso’s premiere spot to dump bodies after hobo rail-yard murders.
This place has got everything: Sexy Contests, lingerie shows and every kind of kink will be represented. ... Doms, subs, bronies, ebola survivors and human pull toys
I’m sorry, Stefon…what are “human pull toys”?
Oh, Human Pull Toys---It’s that thing where a naked midget gets on a skateboard and you pull him around by a lasso tied to his genitals until he passes out.
OK, I see. What else?
Many people will be wearing their Halloween costumes early! So expect to see sexy pirates, scantily clad nuns, sexy Little Red Riding Hoods, naughty nurses…anti-naughty nurses
Let me stop you again, Stefon. Anti-naughty nurses
Oh, those are the mirror opposite of naughty nurses. They’re actual LVN’s that just got off their shift at Thomason. They’re both named Berta, they weigh a combined 453 pounds and they showed up wearing their Spongebob Square pants scrubs!
That sounds just charming. Anything else?
Oh, we’re just getting started! As I said, this place has everything: lingerie shows, burlesque performers, an x-rated build a bear workshop. And look, over there in the corner! Is that City Representatives Ann Morgan Lilly and Lilly Limon re-enacting 2 Girls 1 Cup? No, it’s just 2 homeless guys fighting over a half-empty Tom Collins!
What’s this I hear about a special QRotica guest?
Oh, yes! QRotica’s special guest this year will be Penthouse Pet of the Year, Lexi Belle. But that’s not all. We’re also going to have the 2007 Miss Hatch Chili Queen, El Paso’s number one transvestite comedian, Gay Leno…and, don’t look now, but they have one of the bathrooms reserved for klumpkins.
Oh, those are blumpkins that are given by a lady that looks just like Eddie Murphy as the grandma in Nutty Professor II.
I got it. Stefon, isn’t there anything more wholesome to do at the QRotica?
Absolutely not. But, if you’re looking to get your drink on, the bartender is a Deepak Chopra look-a-like wearing bondage gear. And he serves everything! Beer, wine, mixed drinks…purple drank. Even high quality Mexican vanilla extract smuggled in fresh just for the occasion. And in a back room, you sports lovers can place bets as we bring back the great tradition of live cock fighting! But don’t bother calling the ASPCA…it’s not THOSE Kind of cocks. You might want to call the Sheriff’s Department, though.
That’s our city correspondent, Stefon…thank you, Stefon!