There is a story going around on internet news sites about a woman who was born without a vagina. Fortunately, according to the reporting, doctors in Brazil have managed to make a prosthetic one for her.

Out of tilapia.

They made her a vagina out of tilapia.


Here's a link to the story so you can check it out yourself.

OK, so, we HATE...absolutely HATE...getting fooled by a fake news story. We pride ourselves on being able to detect fake news when we hear it. In a day or so, we should have a clearer idea if the Tilapia Vagina story is real or not. But, for now, for the record...we are saying the whole story sounds a little fishy.

Here are some of the reasons we think this:

  • 1.) They're using fish for a vagina.

Really? The comedic implications of that statement are the kinds of things that would send 8th grade boys into gigantic fits of laughter. The universe seldom serves up comedy on a platter so perfectly. So we're skeptical

  • 2.) The kinds of website reporting it

No, it's not from TheOnion. It's showing up on "news-ish" websites like Newser, Ladbible and, the gray lady of internet journalism,

It's also on the NYPost and most of the British tabloids. But, it's concerning that we're not seeing it on any of the respected medical sites like JAMA or The Lancet. Nor is the story being reported on reputable (despite what President Trump says) news sources like ABC, The BBC or WaPost. We suspect that, like us, these august bastions of journalistic integrity are being extra careful of posting something they might later have to retract. In this age of Real News being called Fake News by the actual purveyors of Fake News, it pays to be cautious.

  • 3.) The alleged patient's name

The 23 year old Brazilian woman who is reported to have had a vagina crafted from the skin of a tilapia is Jucilene Marinho.

Let that sink in for a moment.

For starters, the first name: Jucilene. Is it pronounced JUICY LYNNE? Do her friends just call her Juicy for short. If that's not enough of a tell, there's the last name: Marinho. Not "Marino" like Dan Marino. But, "Marinho". So, a woman gets prosthetic sex organs made from a fish and we're to believe her last name is a combination of "Marine" meaning "Water" and "Ho" being slang for "Whore"?? It's just too much.

I suppose all this could turn out to be true and not the "fish story" we take it for. Personally, I feel we're being catfished and I refuse to take the bait. But, just because I didn't fall for it hook, line and sinker doesn't mean that it isn't true. If it turns out to be accurate, I'll have to flounder around for an excuse and I'll probably feel pretty crappie. If it turns out I'm wrong I'm sure one of you readers will let minnow. Please, don't leave me on the hook! I hope to be herring from you. Cod help me if I'm wrong, but I'll still want to know one thing: why tilapia when what she really wanted was a red snapper?

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