Lisa’s Pick Of The Week’s Weirdest Craiglist Missed Connections

To all the gorgeous, beautiful attractive girls at albertson's. I see them a lot getting the baskets. I just want to tell you ladies how gorgeous you are. And if any of you are single? If this is you I would like to meet? Have a good day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So, yes I have been to this Albertson's and yes I have used a basket there before. Now, knowing I am being grouped in with other girls who gets basket is stupid. I use a basket because it makes me buy less random stuff, I have enough bump its, ped-eggs, and pet shed vacs (which is a horrible idea to use on your cat). And yes I am single but no I will not message you because the fact that a trait your looking for in a woman is holding a basket at Albertson's makes you look shallow. Thanks for the compliment but just because I have a basket doesn't mean I cook. It means I put the fresh fruit and veggies on top to hide the 4 boxes of hot pockets I have on the bottom.

You know who you are, you fucking bully. I hope the jelly makes your ass cheeks stick together, you sandBITCH! Do you know how long it took me to make that thing?! Oh wait, you wouldn't because you just laughed, threw your elote at me and ran off! I hope someone destroys something YOU love! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Don't get me wrong, I'd be pretty pissed if someone ruined my food too. But I wouldn't hope someone destroys something she loved. I would have just followed her with a drink, poured it on her head, and threw the can in her face. And if you were wondering, yes, I have done it before. I'd be most offended if she really did smell. And to be honest, how long did it REALLY take you to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Unless you have one arm and lack the basic motor skills of an average human, it should only take you at the most 5 min to make that sandwich. Stop being a lazy ass and just make another.

We met after a metal show. You and your friends came to hang out at my friend's house. We drank and smoked. I passed out on the passenger seat when my friend drove us home. You got in a fight with your sister and she gave you a black eye. I still think about you. Your name starts with an "A" and your son's name starts with an "E". If you ever read this and want to reconnect please e-mail me. Tell me your name and your son's so I know it's really you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, I like that you met the chick at a metal show. But the fact she got in a fight with her sister in public and she gave her a black eye makes me wonder about the quality of her family's genetics.

Heart burning, Stomach still in knots, You made me feel like a boy again. I think about you every morning and every night....."Never knew love could hurt this f**kn bad, Worst pain that I ever had"....I Love You, SJ. I don't want anyone else, I am sure I will die loving you and only you. The invitation to New Orleans is still open, come and relive the month of February with me. Good Night Baby, I still, and always will, Love You, S -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmm now personally, I love older men. And the fact that you want to take this woman to New Orleans to relive February makes me think you are some amazingly romantic sugar daddy. Did I mention I was single?

This is along shot but I just passed by you in your neighborhood and you were taking a leak outside your truck. You had on grey shorts an a stripe shirt. I passed by in a silver car. I got turned on seeing you shake it dry. Let me know what street this was on if you read this. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, I can tell you obviously only date the classiest of fellow. But then again, your saying how much you were turned on by him shaking urine off of his penis. So you seem like quite a class act too. But do what you gotta do boyfriend to get your freak on! Nothing wrong with getting a little action. After all, we humans were meant to only be with one person their entire lives sex wouldn't be so much fun! Were not lobsters people.