Guest Columnist: Bill Clinton “Why I Will be Attending the Sun Bowl”

On New Year's Eve I, Bill Clinton, will be in El Paso, Texas at the Sun Bowl. Why, you may ask? Am I a fan of Georgia Tech? No.  Did I ever attend Utah? Not on your life!  In fact, I am a lifelong Arkansas Razorback fan (Sooooweee!) and I have zero interest in the two teams playing at the Sun Bowl.  No, I am much more interested in what's being planned for the  halftime show.

Once I heard the news that the Sun Bowl halftime show would include a BJ performance, I made my mind up right then and there to be in El Paso on New Year's Eve!  You may not know this but I am a huge fan of BJ's.
I mean, going waaaay back to the sixties! About the time I left home for college was when I first became a fan of BJ's. Then when I got to Yale was when I really got into it. My freshman year all I could talk about was BJ ,BJ BJ. Soon I was telling all of my  college chum about this hot new thing I'd discovered. And wouldn't you know it...everybody I told became big fans of BJ's , too!

Now, I'm pretty sure by now that everyone knows what I'm talking about. If you don't then you need to go buy a newspaper. I mean, c'mon people! In less than two weeks El Paso is going to get a BJ performance it won't soon forget.  And I can't wait to be there to see it go down!

But, life is funny sometimes. As big a fan of BJ's as I was it turned out that I married a BJ hater. To say Hillary isn't a BJ fan is an understatement. She's loathes it.  Not a fan of BJs at all. Which came as a surprise on our wedding night because while we dating I thought she was as big an admirerer of BJs as I was.  But...I guess she was just faking it. I should have known. Sure, she said she liked it, but every time I'd be in the mood for a little BJ, she'd make this ...expression. Kind of disgusted.  I mean, that's not how a real fan of BJs would react.  A girl who really loved a BJ performance as much as me would smile and bop her head back and forth...maybe she'd even hum along !
But not Hillary. No sir! Not a fan of BJ's at all.

Oh, but dont worry, ! I've finally come to realize I don't need Hillary's approval to enjoy a little  BJ every now and then. Whenever I'm in the mood , I just go someplace it's private and whip it out.... My IPod Shuffle that is. Ever since Chelsea got this thing for me for 2 Christmases ago, I can get my BJ fix anywhere I like. At home, on an airplane...even at the Gym. But, there's nothing like some rockin BJ action in front of a crowd of 55,ooo! That's why I'm looking forward to coming down to the Sunbowl on New Years.   I expect to see all of you in the El Paso chapter of the BJ Fan Club to be right there with me!

(Editor's note: The Halftime entertainment at this years Sun Bowl will be by Grammy winning artist BJ Thomas, a fact that may not have been accurately communicated to former President Clinton. We regret any embarrassment this may have caused.)