Fan Mail Friday!!

Harry might be losing his hair, but he will always be more handsome than you, and he at least served his country through military service. You will always be fat and ugly, and a shitty DJ  in El Paso. 

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     Dear ********,

          Thank you for writing! I did serve my country, by NOT doing military service. If you think I'm a shitty DJ, just think what a shitty soldier I would have made.       Uh, it's "William" not "Harry" that got married today. But thanks for commenting so adamantly on a subject you obviously care sooooo much about.