I've been riding for almost as long as I've been walking and I love everything about motorcycles, bikers and biker culture. Even bad movies.

I fell in love with motorcycles at a pretty young age thanks to a mix of bike-owning uncles, older brothers and cousins, childhood friends, neighbors and a complete lunatic who lived nearby and encompassed every weird, old school biker cliche' you could possibly imagine. (That's another story, we'll get back to him another day.)

Young Dubba G didn’t have a motorcycle but all the aforementioned peeps did and it wasn’t long before I was not only riding with them but riding on my own. That space in time between wanting a motorcycle and actually getting one left a void in me that almost hurt. When I couldn’t be out with the others, I read books about bikes, and dreamt of riding across the country like Easy Rider … my imaginary trip had a happier ending though … flipped through magazines deciding which model I would someday own and watched movies. Any movie at all, if it involved motor - sickles, was a hit with me. 

Rebels Bike Gang Wind Up Annual National Run
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These were the days before Netflix, Hulu, etc, so; I could only watch what cable tv offered. Trust me, cable didn't exactly bring Hollywood's "A" game in this regard. Some biker movies have been done superbly and are well worth watching. That’s another list though, this list is about those old school flicks that were horrible.

At one point, filmmakers churned these B movie bombs out as quickly as they cranked out crappy horror movies a decade or so before. (“Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula” or The Crawling Eye for example.) 

I now have a collection of bad biker flicks because, thanks to the internet, you can buy these atrocities on DVD. You have to really be some kind of motorcycle freak ... or serious, cheesy movie buff ... to enjoy these. I don't think  Mystery Science Theater ever even screened these and they were all about this stuff.   

Their "campy-ness" is what makes them entertaining to me. They’re pretty terrible and, with that being said, here are my top 5 "worst" biker movies. Guaranteed to make big, bad bikers; make you laugh your butt off:

  • C.C. and Company. Back in the day, Joe Namath was a great quarterback. He should have stuck with that. How they got Ann Margaret to do this is beyond me. Personally, I think she lost a bet.
  • The Wild Angels. Peter Fonda's character "Captain America", is known to every card carrying biker on the planet. That gives him a little street cred here but I still only give this one a 5 ... on a scale of 1 to 1,000.
  • Werewolves on Wheels. Yep. They went there.
  • Electra Glide In Blue. This one's not exactly bad but it's VERY weird. The actors and the technology available to filmmakers at the time aren't all that either.  .
  • Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town. First werewolves, now zombies. Bonus points for empowering women but, I’m sorry, this one sucks too.

 

Plenty of Babes and Bikinis At This Year's Sturgis Motorcycle Rally