Hi! I’m Buzz Adams and I sometimes sleep-shop. You never heard of sleep-shopping? It’s where you pop a prescription sleep aid like Ambien or Lunesta…it knocks you out BUT it sometimes takes up to 45 minutes to put you all the way under. In the span of that 45 minutes (plus or minus) you may still continue doing things. However, you won’t have any memory of what you did. This is how I end up getting “mystery” packages in the mail from the Xinjiang Province of China.

My most recent package was covered completely in Chinese writing with the notable exception of these two words in English: KITCHEN SUPPLIES.

To be clear: the only way this device could be consider a “kitchen supply” is if you were cooking small rodents that you had to hunt down and kill yourself because inside the packaging was a spring-loaded dart gun with lethal capacity. Watch for yourself if you don’t believe me:

I’m not sure what this device is called (everything was in Mandarin) and I don’t remember why I thought it would be a good idea to own one (because of the Lunesta). The only thing I’m fairly sure of is that it’s PROBABLY illegal. If not, surely shipping one through the mail from China HAS to be against some law.