End Of ERA: Getting To The Bottom Of Why Hiney’s Closed    

After nearly 30 years, Hiney’s Bar and Grill has closed.  I’m not here to make them the butt of any jokes. It’s just my ass-ignment for today. What kind of bum do you think I am?

When Hiney’s opened in 1996, it certainly seemed like a cheeky name. El Paso’s first (and so far, only) Hooters had opened just a few months before.

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Ironically, Hooters was not a bust. They’re still in business today and stay abreast of competitors like Twin Peaks and The Tilted Kilt.

Hiney’s, though not a “breastaurant”, definitely wanted in on some of that booty. Their servers still wore revealing tops but they also wore very short form-fitting shorts. Wait…how were they different from Hooters, again?

Well, for starters, they were locally owned and not part of a huge national chain.  Erica and Oscar Lopez told KFOX they were closing for “personal reasons” but didn’t give any further specifics. They say it’s “time for them to move on” to another chapter in their lives.

When they opened, I thought a great name for a place that wanted to be like Hooters, but for buttocks, should have been called “Pooters”. That’s hilarious!

Here are some other name ideas I’ve put together. If you’re considering opening a butt-themed eatery, feel free to use royalty-free any of these original names.

“Meester Keister”

“Derriere Queen”

“The Arse-enal”

“Cutie Patooties”

“Buttruckers”

“The Bum Rush”

“Bikini Bottoms” (Check with Spongebob Squarepants about copyright issues)

“Bottom Feeders”

“Dumps Like a Truck, Truck”

“All Buns, No Wieners”

“The Fanny Pack”