A History Lesson from Sarah Palin

I'm Sarah Palin' and I'm here to tell you a little about the history of this great nation of ours! Because, by golly, no matter what the "Lame-steam" media would have you believe, I KNOW my American history, you betcha!

It all started, you know...back then in the middle ages when George Washington was able to defeat the British using only an ax. He used that ax to chop down all the British Cherry trees, which was their only source of food! Then, George Washington had to spend a harsh winner at Sweet Valley High but, um...after all that was over he was able to write the Constitution and he became our first president! After he died, he was replaced by his vice president, Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson was also a great man and, y'know, a really super good president! Jefferson, along with his wife, Weezy, were finally able to move into a more luxurious home, which they named "The White House". In fact, it was Jefferson who said those words that would become our national Motto: "We're a-Movin' on up!"

After Jefferson came President Benjamin Frankin, who invented the electric chair.

But it wasn't just the presidents who made this great country the great country that it is today! Y'know, there were all sorts of great Americans like...gosh, let me think....OH! Betsy Ross comes to mind. She was America's original no-nonsense, hockey mom who stitched together some red and white and blue cloth and put it all together to make the graphic wrap you see on my bus which is parked right behind me.

Oh, and also, there's all the great American men and women who fought in the Civil War to make sure we were free of the British once and for all. Because, there was no way they were going to let 'ol King George make them swallow his health reform plan, no-siree bob!

There was Davy Crocket and Daniel Boone who fought off the Mexicans who were tryin' to invade San Antonio and force all the hard-workin' people of Texas to have all the signs in their Wal-marts in Spanish.

So, you see, history is an important part of our history as a nation. Because without history, how could we keep from making the same mistakes over again. God bless all of you and God bless America! Now, it's off to Philidelphia where I'm gonna have my picture taken in front of the original Taco Bell!