I know you El Pasoans aren't used to white flakes falling from the sky, but not to fret, as a lifelong New Englander, I have some tips to help you cope with the snow:

  • 1

    Don't Snort It

    It may be white and powdery, but snow should not be snorted.

  • 2

    Don't Eat The Yellow Snow

    It may look look a refreshing substance with a potential lemony zing, but trust me, don't eat the yellow stuff.

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  • 3

    Don't Drive Like A Dick

    If the scary white stuff gets on the roads, drive slower. On second thought, after hearing about all the wrecks that happened with just a dusting on the road, don't drive at all.

  • 4

    Don't Fall Asleep Outside

    The snow can be relaxing. Hey, I've found myself mid-snow angel thinking, "You know, I COULD go for a siesta," but don't do it.

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  • 5

    Don't Put Wet Parts Of Your Body On Cold Metal Objects

    Flag poles have a tendency to look delicious. Don't lick them. Or put other wet parts of your body on them. Lookin' at you, ladies.

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  • 6

    Don't Wear Uggs

    I know the temptation may be strong and the sheepskin may seem warm and inviting, but don't do it.

  • 7

    When In Doubt, Drink

    When all else fails, stay home and drink the storm away.

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