Stephanie’s Snow Tips For El Paso
I know you El Pasoans aren't used to white flakes falling from the sky, but not to fret, as a lifelong New Englander, I have some tips to help you cope with the snow:
- 1
Don't Snort It
It may be white and powdery, but snow should not be snorted.
- 2
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
It may look look a refreshing substance with a potential lemony zing, but trust me, don't eat the yellow stuff.
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Don't Drive Like A Dick
If the scary white stuff gets on the roads, drive slower. On second thought, after hearing about all the wrecks that happened with just a dusting on the road, don't drive at all.
- 4
Don't Fall Asleep Outside
The snow can be relaxing. Hey, I've found myself mid-snow angel thinking, "You know, I COULD go for a siesta," but don't do it.
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Don't Put Wet Parts Of Your Body On Cold Metal Objects
Flag poles have a tendency to look delicious. Don't lick them. Or put other wet parts of your body on them. Lookin' at you, ladies.
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Don't Wear Uggs
I know the temptation may be strong and the sheepskin may seem warm and inviting, but don't do it.
- 7
When In Doubt, Drink
When all else fails, stay home and drink the storm away.
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