Stephanie’s Snow Tips For El Paso
I know you El Pasoans aren't used to white flakes falling from the sky, but not to fret, as a lifelong New Englander, I have some tips to help you cope with the snow:
Don't Snort It
It may be white and powdery, but snow should not be snorted.
Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
It may look look a refreshing substance with a potential lemony zing, but trust me, don't eat the yellow stuff.
Don't Drive Like A Dick
If the scary white stuff gets on the roads, drive slower. On second thought, after hearing about all the wrecks that happened with just a dusting on the road, don't drive at all.
Don't Fall Asleep Outside
The snow can be relaxing. Hey, I've found myself mid-snow angel thinking, "You know, I COULD go for a siesta," but don't do it.
Don't Put Wet Parts Of Your Body On Cold Metal Objects
Flag poles have a tendency to look delicious. Don't lick them. Or put other wet parts of your body on them. Lookin' at you, ladies.
Don't Wear Uggs
I know the temptation may be strong and the sheepskin may seem warm and inviting, but don't do it.
When In Doubt, Drink
When all else fails, stay home and drink the storm away.