Rowdy- Redheaded Matriarch Dies in El Paso and Gets the Best Obituary Ever
Who says that obituaries have to be short and sad? Some obituaries can be as long as a Stephen King Novella and as humorous as you'd like; full of inside jokes, achievements and heartfelt memories shared by the family.
Such was the case with Renay Mandel Corren's obituary, who passed away in El Paso at the age of 84 on Saturday, December 11. Corren's obituary, which was published in the Fayetteville Observer, has gone viral with good reason; it's hilarious and heartfelt and will make you laugh and clutch your pearls as you read all of her "accomplishments".
The obit starts out with a description of Renay herself:
"A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday."
Straight to the point, off to a good start already!
As you read on, you discover that this lady never stayed in one place:
"There will be much mourning in the many glamorous locales she went bankrupt in: McKeesport, PA, Renay's birthplace and where she first fell in love with ham, and atheism; Fayetteville and Kill Devil Hills, NC, where Renay's dreams, credit rating and marriage are all buried. "
Some of Renay's- Rosie to her friends- achievements included playing cards "like a shark", bowling and playing cribbage like a pro. And according to the obit, this is exactly what Renay was great at:
"Dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines. She said she read them for the articles, but filthy free speech was really Renay's thing."
Some of the more heartfelt, but still filled with humor, moments include the list of everything Renay survived:
"We thought Renay could not be killed. God knows, people tried. A lot. Renay has been toying with death for a decades, but always beating it and running off in her silver Chevy Nova. Covid couldn't kill Renay. Neither could pneumonia twice, infections, blood clots, bad feet, breast cancer twice, two mastectomies, two recessions, multiple bankruptcies, marriage to a philandering Sergeant Major, divorce in the 70's, six kids, one cesarean, a few abortions from the Quietly Famous Abortionist of Spring Lake, NC or an affair with Larry King in the 60's."
We also find out that Renay is, sadly preceded into death by her beloved daughter Cathy Sue Corren Lester Trammel Webster, of Kill Devil Hills, NC- who apparently lost an eyeball in a Pepsi bottle incident which the author promises will be explored in future obituaries!
Speaking of the author, Renay was survived by her five sons, Michael of El Paso, Jeffrey, Scott, Marc and her "favorite son" Andy Corren- "the gay one who writes catty obituaries in his spare time"
Renay lived out her final years in El Paso "under the care, compassion, checking accounts and, evidently, unlimited patience of her favorite son and daughter-in-law, Michael and Lourdes Corren"
Renay's memorial, which is sure to be "disrespectful and totally non-denominational" will likely be held at a bowling alley in 2022.
The obit ends on a warmer note, assuring you that this woman was amazing- and in turn- likely raised amazing human beings. it ends with a simple:
"Bye, Mommy. We loved you to bits."
An obituary that turns pain into comedy, but also evidently filled with love. This is exactly how I wish my obituary will be written! RIP to Renay, and may her loved ones find comfort in knowing that now, the whole world has also fallen in love with their mother!