Mysterious video footage emerged this week showing pigeons wearing tiny little cowboy hats. The question MOST people are asking is “WHO put tiny hats on pigeons?”. I’m more interested in WHY someone would put hats on pigeons. Seriously, what possible scenario could have led to this spectacle:

That’s objectively hilarious but it’s turned out that whoever is behind this GLUED the hats onto the pigeons head. On the one hand, that really seems cruel. On the other hand, pigeons are rats with wings so &#@! them.

Back to the question at hand. Someone took the time to make tiny little cowboy hats and glue them onto the heads of dozens, possibly hundreds, of pigeons. BUT WHY? We may never find out the answer and it will continue to gnaw away at me. So, I decided to be proactive and come up with some hypotheses.

  • 1.) Those aren’t actually Nevada pigeons. They’re Texas pigeons on vacation.
  • 2.) They’re NYC pigeons who ended up in the Witness Relocation Program. Those hats are their disguises. Why would pigeons be in Witness Protection? Obviously, because they’re stool pigeons.
  • 3.) Someone was having a Western themed wedding. Instead of releasing doves they went with the cheaper option of pigeons and the hats went along with the theme.
  • 4.) It’s a Banksy art installation.
  • 5.) They’re Mike Tysons pigeons and Mike has been smoking waaaaay too much of the crop from his giant marijuana ranch.
  • 6.) Aliens.