Before you know it, high school football will start up across the nation.

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Since we don’t have any matchups to talk about yet, let’s talk about mascots. Specifically, which mascot would win in a fight? It could be a battle royale-style fight or a bracketed tournament.

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Or, “if these two things went into a room and fought to the death, which one would walk out”. It really doesn’t matter because I think the winner would be the same regardless of format.

PART ONE: Separating the Predators from the Prey

Montwood Rams
Montwood Rams
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We can get started by establishing that mascots that are predator animals are going to knock out the non-predatory animals. This means the Tigers, the Bears, all manner of Cougars and Panthers, and Eagles go through to the next round.

By the same token, herd animals and herbivores get slaughtered right away (sorry, Montwood Rams and Burgess Mustangs).

PART TWO: Wild Animals over Domesticated

Bowie Bears
Bowie Bears
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I love my dogs but a Bulldog (Socorro) is going to have NO chance against a Bear (Bowie). And before you try to argue that Bulldogs and Bears actually used to be forced to fight I would just mention that in those medieval contests, the bear would be chained up and would have to fight a half dozen or so dogs. Also, a Silver Fox is going to get eaten by a panther, a golden panther, OR a cougar. Tough luck, Jefferson.

Jefferson Silver Foxes
Jefferson Silver Foxes
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Check back here tomorrow as we go over Part Three and Part Four: human mascots vs. other human mascots and…the final showdown for El Paso High School Mascot supremacy.

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