To quote the band The Refreshments, "The world is full of stupid people."

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It seems that most of those people live in Florida.  I recently ran across an article from a news station in Florida, Action News Jax.  It talked about a man from Jupiter, Florida that was arrested after he tried to throw a live alligator through a Wendy's drive-thru window.

The 23-year-old was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, illegally killing, possessing, or capturing an alligator, and second-degree larceny petit theft, according to the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Office.

First of all, what in the heck?  Who drives up to a fast food drive-thru and chunks a snappy toothy reptile through a window?  Second, who just has an alligator cruising in the car with them?  Third, was he high?

Florida crazies throw alligators and that got me thinking about crazies in Texas.

What would someone from Texas throw through a drive-thru window?


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It would just probably roll up into a little ball and pray for its life.


Ready to Strike
Clyde Laster

This death noodle would probably bite anything in its path as it was flung through a window.  Just say no to the nope rope.

Construction Barrel


The barrel wouldn't fit, but maybe a traffic one would.


A tumbleweed rolls down the road.

The one thing that Texas has an abundance of would fly into a window quite nicely.  In fact, it probably has because the wind is a bully.


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The only bull that would fit through a window would be a toy bull, and that wouldn't do much damage.   Or you could just throw some bull manure or bull chips.  Ewwww.

Prairie Dog

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Getty Images

This little fellow might do some damage with his teeth and claw, but I'm sure he would much rather have a french fry.


scorpion isolated profile
Javier Conejero

Not only would it sting, but it would also make the person scream in decibels that would break glass.

I guess if you leave near the bayous of Texas you could find an alligator, but most of us in Texas we are on dry land.

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