It’s that time again to check our police scanners and local newspapers to find the most insane, inane and comically inept stories of True Crime.

That’s a lot to unpack, I know. Let’s start with the drunken car chase and go from there.

38-year old attorney Reena Sanders led police on a drunken high-speed chase. The incident started when Reena Sanders of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida was clocked doing 80 mph in a 45 mph zone. Ms. Sanders eventually hit 90 mph, fishtailed and almost crashed. She was eventually boxed in by police cars and was ordered out of her car at gunpoint.

Police say that once she was in custody Ms. Sanders began dropping the names of the numerous celebrities she knew. Among them were: Ryan Reynolds, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Owen Wilson. That’s right. Jackie Chan’s co-star in “Shanghai Knights”, Owen Wilson. That’s who you name-drop as a “get out of jail free” card. “Dupree” from “You, Me and Dupree”.

It didn’t work. Once she was taken to jail Reena demanded that they order pizza for her. She’s facing charges for reckless driving, DUI, resisting arrest and drug possession because they found edibles in her purse.

Reena Sanders claims she is 100% innocent.

Police declined her demand for pizza.

Here is her mugshot:

Monroe County Sheriff’s Office

Another Florida story, so that’s two for two which is actually kind of par for the course.

27-year-old Herbert McClellan went into a Speedway gas station in Clearwater on Tuesday at around 2 in the morning. He stole over $100 worth of lottery scratchers. Store employees say they saw Herbert do it AND that he had to have KNOWN that they saw him. So when he returned a few hours later to cash out one of the tickets that he had won 30 bucks on, they recognized him immediately as “the scratcher stealer from earlier”. Police were called and Mr. McClellan was arrested.

Here is his mugshot:

Clearwater Police Department

Police in Springfiled Massachusetts are searching for a man who gave “unsolicited hugs” to strangers at Walmart and then told them, “That was a Covid hug. You now have Covid”.

One of the people he hugged was a cancer survivor who told police he had never seen the man before.

Police are asking anyone with information about the Covid Hugger or his whereabouts to come forward.

Here is a photo of the suspect taken from a Walmart security cam:

Springfield Police Department

At least the guy was wearing a mask, I guess.

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