Tips For President Trump's El Paso Visit

It's official, President Donald Trump will visit El Paso. Here are a couple of ways he can endear himself to the city.

If President Trump really wants to win over his haters here in the Borderland, he's going to need to show that he truly understands them and thinks along the same lines.

Toward that end, here are a few tips for the POTUS:

Swap out the presidential limousine for a '66 Impala. (See video!)
No press conferences from offices or historical landmarks. Hold 'em at places El Pasoans truly love and respect like Chico's, Ascarate Lake or The Red Parrot.
Learn the proper pronunciation and placement of phrases like No Mames/No Manches, Guey and Ay Te Wacho.
When in doubt, say "Andale", "Orale" or "Ay Ay". Those mean pretty much whatever you want them to.
Give a nod to UTEP by dying some blue into your orange hair.
Sell Churros, nachos and beer along your parade route(s).
You're loaded so, maybe you could FINALLY buy Pancho Villa's finger from that pawn shop downtown and donate it to EP's Museum Of History.
Speaking of cash, instead of building walls, use those billions to finish all the freakin' road construction around here. That would totally win us over!