Pope to Visit Juarez
The Vatican has confirmed that Pope Francis will include Ciudad Juarez when he visits Mexico in February. There are estimates that the Pope's visit could bring up to 2 MILLION visitors to the El Paso/Juarez area. If the Pope's visit falls on a Friday, Long John Silvers has announced they will open an additional 400 restaurants in El Paso to accommodate all the hungry Catholics.
The Vatican has not yet announced any specifics of the visit such as the exact date or if the Pontiff will cross the border into Texas. However, here is what a possible itinerary might look like.
7:00 a.m.: Pope lands at Juarez Intl Airport
7:50 a.m: Pope fills out claim ticket for "lost" baggage
9:00 a.m.: Pope visits Old Juarez Mercado
9:44 a.m.: Pope samples plate of Juarez street tacos
9:45 a.m.: Pope takes nastiest dump of his entire life
11:47 a.m.: On way to address throngs of faithful, Popemobile is pulled over by local police
12:38 p.m.: Pope finally puts together 20 bucks for bribe; arrives at venue two hours late
4:00 p.m.: Pope makes impromptu visit across International Bridge into El Paso
4:15 p.m.: Pope is chosen for impromptu enhanced vehicle search
6:28 p.m.: Pope Mobile is completely dismantled. No contraband is found.
6:44 p.m.: Pope decides to walk across bridge instead. Is mugged twice.