OPINION: Indiana Jones 5 Should Make Indy 4 “All A Dream”

According to IMDB, Indiana Jones 5 is supposed to hit theaters in 2023.

Harrison Ford, of course, is back along with Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, and Antonio Banderas.

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Also, this will be the first Indy movie NOT directed by Steven Spielberg and NOT written by George Lucas.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but, after the LAST Indiana Jones…THANK GOD Spielberg and Lucas are off the project.

Last week, David Koepp, a writer who was brought in to help with the script for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, acknowledged how dumb the finished product was.

Specifically, he hated the “aliens plotline”.  According to Koepp, he TOLD Spielberg and Lucas that he wasn’t a fan of the “ancient aliens” aspect of the script but that they, Spielberg and Lucas, told him the aliens were “non-negotiable”.

Of ALL the things wrong with that movie (and there were many) I can’t believe it was the aliens that he most objected to.

I mean, I didn’t like it either but it wasn’t beyond the pale for a franchise that previously had featured Angry Hebrew Ghosts, a human sacrifice victim surviving having his heart ripped from his chest, and an 800-year-old knight guarding the literal Holy Grail.

Yeah, but ALIENS are dumb.

Indy 4: Attack of the Giant Killer Ants was not a good movie. So, I’m proposing they “Bobby Ewing” Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones 5 needs to open with Jones waking up and realizing that everything in 4 had been a bad dream.

Surviving a direct nuclear blast in a refrigerator, the corny aliens, and the horror of having Shia LaBeouf being his long-lost son….ALL of it could be blamed on one too many bonks on the head or undercooked chilled monkey brains.

The whole “it was all just a dream” gimmick is extremely tired but it would be worth it for fans to be able to pretend none of that crap happened.  We can also pretend that Cate Blanchett never played a Nazi (except for that FX series a couple of years ago about Phyllis Schlafly.