
Here’s the Order of U.S. Presidential Succession (You Might Want to Keep it Handy)
There are now reports that U.S. intelligence agencies aren't sharing sensitive information with the Trump White House...because they're afraid they can't trust Trump's crew from blabbing to the Russians. This sad joke of an administration is beginning to show it's cracks. Just in case, here's the way the succession of executive power would go in case Trump is, in the terms of his many beauty pageants, "unable to fulfill his duties".
I'll include the name of the person and a fun factoid.
Just stop reading when you get to a name that you feel comfortable with. And, sorry, Kiefer Sutherland's name doesn't show up anywhere on this list.
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Getty Images 1U.S. Vice-President Mike Pence
Minuses: Staunchly anti-gay rights, believes global warming is a "myth."
Pluses: Not an obviously insane, orange-skinned buffoon with narcissistic personality disorder.
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Getty Images 2U.S. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan
An uncontroversial, wonkish policy nerd who is in insanely good physical shape. Basically, the exact opposite of Trump. (And this, friends, is where I jump off. Ryan would be a good steward of the executive office).
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Getty Images 3U.S. Senate Pro Tem Orrin Hatch
Once said, "I wouldn't want homosexuals teaching school anymore than I'd want to see members of the American Nazi Party teaching school."
Frank Zappa recorded a song called "Orrin Hatch on Skis."
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Getty Images 4U.S. Sec. of State Rex Tillerson
If Donald Trump has a crush on Vladimir Putin, Rex Tillerson is Putin's actual boyfriend.
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Getty Images 5U.S. Sec. of the Treasury Stephen Mnuchin
Former VP of Goldman Sachs, a company that Donald Trump attacked over and over again in the debates.
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Getty Images 6U.S. Sec. of Defense James Mattis
Yes, the "Mad Dog" guy. A president with a name like "Mad Dog" should show the Russians whose boss. Oh, right ... I forgot. Putin's the boss.
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Getty Images 7U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions
His middle name is, unbelievably, "Beauregard" and when he talks he actually sounds more like Col. Sanders than any of the actors they have trying to impersonate him.
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