Here are the Rules for Debate 2020: The Drinking Game

The first presidential debate of 2020 takes place tonight from Cleveland. And, at moments of historic importance such as this, we feel the need to ask: how can we use this to get blitzed? Fortunately, I have compiled a set of rules for Trump vs. Biden: The Drinking Game.

First, break into teams. One is Team Trump and the other is Team Biden. You team affiliation doesn’t have anything to do with which candidate you support. It’s only for the purpose at hand: getting loaded. So, the teams can be assigned by chance. You can flip a coin or draw names out of a bowl. Whatever you feel like.

SUPPLIES: Everyone needs a cold beer. Multiple beers may be needed. Also, shot glasses and a potent potable of your choice. Vodka, whiskey and tequila come to mind. Have theme handy and remember…we’re in a pandemic so don’t drink out of the same containers!

GAMEPLAY:

SIPS:
Team members take a “sip” of beer every time your candidate says a word or phrase on his list.

So, for Team Trump, take a sip of beer every time Donald Trump says:

• “Believe me”
• “China” or “China Virus”
• “Radical Democrat”
• “All Lives Matter”
• “Fake News”
• “Rigged”

For Team Biden, take a sip every time Joe Biden says:

• “Here’s the deal”
• “750 dollars”
• “Malarkey”
• “Black Lives Matter”
• “Working Class”
• “Consarn it!”

The ante is upped for the following statements or phrases. Instead of a sip of beer you take a shot of alcohol…

• If Trump mentions “Antifa”, Team Trump takes a shot.
• If Biden mentions “Q-anon”, Team Biden takes a shot.
• Every time Biden says “Obama” Team Biden takes a shot.
• Every time Trump says, “ObamaGATE”, Team Trump takes a shot.
• If Trump mentions “Amy Coney Barrett”, Team Trump does a shot.
• If Biden mentions “Ruth Bader-Ginsberg”, Team Biden does a shot.
• If Trump mentions “Hunter Biden”, T.T. takes a shot.
• If Biden mentions “Beau Biden”, T.B. takes a shot.
• If Trump brings up “Hillary’s e-mails”, T.T. takes TWO shots.
• If Biden brings up “Stormy Daniels, T.B. takes TWO shots.
• If either candidate mentions “Kamala” but MISPRONOUNCES her name, that candidates team takes a shot.

Finally, the “Chug a beer” stage. If you’re candidate says any of the following you have to chug a brand new beer, not the one you’re working on. You have to be able to turn the bottle upside down without even a drop coming out.

• If Trump says, “Sleepy Joe” T.T. chugs.
• If Biden attempts to give Trump a nickname and it sucks, T.B. chugs.
• If Joe Biden accidentally uses a racial or ethnic slur, T.B. chugs.
• If Donald Trump intentionally uses a racial or ethnic slur, T. T. chugs.
• If Trump stands menacingly behind Biden, T.T. chugs.
• If Biden stands behind Trump and tries to sniff his hair, T.B. chugs.
• If either candidate asks for a “pee break”, both teams chug. Then take a pee break.

Remember to drink responsibly. Although, given the rules here enumerated, that may be impossible. At least don’t drive. And wear a mask, even if one of the candidates doesn’t.