Here Are Some of the E.D. Metaphors for Our $5K Prize

The prize is a five thousand dollar value from El Paso Men’s Clinic which includes the GAINSWave machine AND the P-shot, both of which you can read more about in an earlier article I wrote, here.

We’re listening to messages that people have left on our NECKline which is 844-805-6325 in which they describe erectile dysfunction in the form of a metaphor or simile.

The contest runs through this Friday May 10th. Here are some of the front runners so far:

E.D. is like:

“Pole vaulting with a pool noodle”

“ Trying to bust concrete with a marshmallow jack-hammer”

“ Shooting pool with a rope”

“ Trying to shove bubblegum through a keyhole”

“ A blow-up mattress. No matter how hard you blow, it always goes soft”

It’s not too late to enter. Just leave us a message on the toll-free neckline, 844-805-6325, and phrase your entry something like this:

“Living with E.D. is like (INSERT METAPHOR).”

Additionally, if you want to add some information about yourself or your situation, you can. It’s not required but it also wouldn’t hurt.

Of course, we’re keeping contestants anonymous. However, you’ve got to leave a way for us to contact you back to you in order to win the prize. A phone contact, e-mail or social media would work fine as long as we can reach you after this Friday.

Also, here are all the rules and regulations about our $5K prize package from El Paso Men’s Clinic:

CONTEST RULES:
* MUST BE 21+ to enter.

* Open to legal residents of Texas and New Mexico.

* Must schedule consultation with Dr. Leo Altenberg, MD within 30-days of winning or prize is forfeited.

* Winner may opt out any time after consultation and an alternate winner will be chosen. Forfeiture of prize is not replaceable; no cash value awarded.

* Winner receives the GainsWave treatment as offered by the El Paso Men’s Clinic.

* Winner may also receive the “Priapus Shot,” if they chose and are medically qualified. All legal waivers and requirements will be disseminated by the El Paso Men’s Clinic prior to any procedure.

* Contest runs Monday April 29, 2019, through Friday, May 10, 2019.

* Entry by calling the BAMS toll free neckline and leaving their metaphor for erectile dysfunction along with name and contact number.

* Finalists selected at random based on their creativity and audio legibility.

* Grand Prize Winner chosen at random from all qualified entries; judge’s decision final.