Florida Man Kisses Deadly Snake 'Cuz, Well

He wanted to kiss and the snake didn't. No means no, bro.

A Florida man .. why is it always Florida with these stories? .. caught a deadly water moccasin. Moccasin's have the same type of venom as rattlesnakes, even worse dispositions and they have no rattle to let you know if your affections are unwanted.

Austin Hatfield was kissing the little darling when it either A) got upset that Austin wasn't going to buy dinner and drinks, B) found out he'd been seeing another snake or C) turned out to be a boy snake. Austin's best friend said:

We (were) sitting in the kitchen, and he ran out of the room saying, ‘Hospital, hospital, now, now,'”

Some best friend. Kicking it in the kitchen instead of talking his buddy out of kissing deadly reptiles. Though admitted in critical condition, Austin's expected to fully recover.

Although, he is hurt that the snake hasn't called or even texted him.

UP NEXT: Think That's Bad? Try Being A Donkey In Florida.