Doomsday Preppers Must be Feeling PRETTY Smug Just About Now

Doomsday Preppers, also known as “the people on Nat Geo who are planning for the end of the world but don’t look like their hearts could survive walking up a flight of stairs”, are enjoying a moment in the sun. After being on the receiving end of years of mockery it now appears that their paranoia may be paying off. Do you think a prepper doesn’t have toilet paper aplenty? Actually, forgetting a basic essential while having a 40 year supply of saw-dust flavored mac and cheese sounds EXACTLY like the stereotypical strawman prepper in my imagination. There are ample stories in the news of preppers who are responding to the coronavirus pandemic with some version of, “Who’s crazy NOW?”

I think it’s too soon to start saying that the preppers were right all along, however. So, a prepper might have enough foul-tasting dehydrogenated gruel to last through the apocalypse. But I went to a nice restaurant and had calamari and a lovely rare rib-eye. What I’m saying is, the preppers won’t be fully vindicated until I’m on the verge of starvation and screaming, “I should have been a prepper” into the void.