A survey asked Americans, “Out of the newer Olympic sports, which ones should stick around and which ones should be dropped?”. People seem to really like baseball and karate. The ones they’re not so hot on: Three on Three Basketball and Sport Climbing. I’m just brainstorming here but…here are some improvements I think they could implement to make current Olympic sports more enjoyable.

ROWING

Currently: a bunch of people row a boat to, I guess, a finish line?

Improvement: Every boat has to include a crewmember from the opposing team. That guy is allowed to row in the opposite direction.

DRESSAGE

Currently: It’s basically “fancy horse dancing”

Improvement: Use monkeys instead of humans as riders

100 METER HURDLES

Currently: runners have to jump over stuff

Improvement: Add blindfolds

FENCING:

Currently: It’s two people lunging and seeing who can stab the other a fraction of a millisecond sooner

Improvement: Sharpen those tips a little bit. I think it would add an important element of DEFENSE to the sport

SWIMMING

Currently: Fastest swimmer wins

Improvement: Add a dog-paddling event. Individual, relay, medley…I think we’d like to see how the world’s greatest swimmers would fare if they had to swim like toddlers.

DIVING

Currently: It’s all about form and who makes the tiniest splash

Improvement: Add a belly flop. It would bring some much-needed diversity in the form of fat athletes trying to make the BIGGEST splash possible.

Here are a few more ideas that I haven’t completely fleshed-out yet:

  • Non-Stoned Skateboarding
  • Volleyball on a rocky beach instead of a sandy beach
  • Archery Dueling
  • Water Marco Polo
  • Combine Trampoline with the High Jump
  • Barefoot Race Walking on VERY Hot Pavement
  • Greco-Roman Style Battle Royale

Again, I’m not married to any of these. Just spitballing ideas is all.

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