Burger Enthusiasts Exist & You’re Probably One of Them

It's time for my weekly Dstillery Challenge.

EDITORS NOTE: Dstillery is a research and marketing firm that we use to find out what visitors to our website are ALSO interested in. Once a week, we randomly pick one of the profile types that Dstillery tells us we should be catering to. The challenge is: can Buzz write a full-length article (250 words minimum) WITHOUT knowing the topic ahead of time or doing any research into the topic? Today’s challenge is…Burger Enthusiasts

 

I thought everyone was a “burger enthusiast”. Who doesn’t like hamburgers? Even vegans like to pretend to eat burgers…even if the meat is replaced with kelp or sawdust or whatever it is they put in a vegan burger. But, I guess, there are some people who are really, REALLY into hamburgers. Like, above and beyond the norm.

There’s probably a lot of overlap with the “foodie” community. Burger Enthusiasts enjoy what fast food places have to offer. Again, who doesn’t? But I imagine they go out of their way to find new and exciting burger experiences that transcend mere sustenance. I’m picturing someone who, upon visiting a city for the first time, makes it a point to ask the locals, “Who makes the best hamburger in town?” They probably get “McDonald’s” or “Wendy’s” as common answers. That’s because most people AREN’T Burger Enthusiasts like they are.

There’s something wrong with you if your favorite hamburger is from a ubiquitous fast-food place. Your favorite burger should be from some greasy-spoon hole-in-the-wall in your hometown. For me, that was Coleman’s Diner in Okmulgee, Oklahoma. It was on Highway 75 about 45 miles south of Tulsa. To give you an idea of just how good Coleman’s was, they had a helicopter pad in a field next to their restaurant. Nobody in Okmulgee had a helicopter. But, this was in the 70s and 80s when the oil industry was booming. Some of these very wealthy oilmen used to go back and forth between Dallas and Tulsa and some of them had their own helicopters. The helicopters would basically follow Highway 75 all the way from Tulsa to Dallas and vice versa. Coleman’s burgers were SO GOOD…that every week three or four J.R. Ewing types would have their pilots land so they could go in and grab a grease-bomb. If I didn’t mention, Coleman hamburgers were very greasy. After you were finished there was a thin but complete layer of grease still left on your plate. The onion rings were just as good and just as greasy. And they had a coconut cream pie that I still have dreams about to this day.

If you are a good, red-blooded American your favorite burger should come from a place like this.

And now, I can’t stop thinking of hamburgers. Thanks a lot, Dstillery.