9 El Paso Stereotypes (According to Someone Who Has Never Been to El Paso)

Movato.com is a website that writes silly articles about U.S. cities as click-bait. I am an unwilling internet blogger who is short 1500 page view this week and, as such, is desperately in need of click-bait. This is a match truly made in Internet Hell.

Check out this article entitled 9 El Paso Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate! and get ready to face-palm yourself into a bloody pulp. The article is written by Kristin Norton who is so far off the mark that I’m willing to bet she has not only never been to El Paso, but she has never been anywhere that has any of the same letters in their name as “El Paso”.
Miss #1:

1. Folks In El Paso Know How To Throw Down The Pickaxe

El Paso is the one of the largest cities in the country without a professional sports team. So, they take all of their pent-up sport fandom and pour it into UTEP.

Yeah? Tell that to the 30 thousand people who didn’t show up for the Homecoming football game against Old Dominion 2 weeks ago.

Miss # 2

3. But They’re All Still Old-Fashioned Cowboys At Heart

There might not be any tumbleweeds left nowadays, but once upon a time El Paso was the epitome of the Wild West… Wrangler jeans, cowboy boots, and plenty of cowboy hats—you won’t have to go far to find yourself a modern-day cowboy or cowgirl in El Paso.

Wrong again. There are a shit-ton of tumbleweeds in El Paso…I’ve had to make two trips to the dumpster behind Hobby Lobby in the same day just to dispose of the stupid things in the same day. And anyone wearing a cowboy hat and boots probably has Durango plates and their boots are aqua-marine with 5 inch toe-tips.

Miss #3

4. Everyone In El Paso Has A Pair Of Rain Boots

No, no, no. No one owns rain boots. That would imply foresight and preparedness. We don’t even bother to fix our major thoroughfares so they don’t become death-puddles after getting 20 minutes of rainfall, that’s how much we plan ahead.