3 Ways UTEP’S New Volleyball Team Could ACTUALLY Play Beach Volleyball In El Paso

UTEP is going to be getting a Division 1 beach volleyball team, complete with scholarship players. But... where's our beach?

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I'm a big fan of our UTEP miners, so I'm excited that with the addition of beach volleyball there will now be 17 NCAA Division 1 sports, that will be offered at our 'not so little university.'

When I heard the announcement about a new 'beach' volleyball team I couldn't help but wonder: Wait, El Paso has beaches?! Technically the Rio Grande has a beach, and Ascarate has some sand, right? Does the desert count as just a really long beach?

But, what if you wanted to play a proper game of beach volleyball? Where do water and sand meet? Here are 3 ways El Paso could potentially get beaches.

1. GLOBAL WARMING

We've been told that the melting polar ice caps and the rising oceans are bad for the planet, but what if it's good for El Paso? I'm sure people have had this thought before, but I'm going to say it publicly.

With Mexico and most of West Texas submerged beneath our angry seas, El Paso could become the Riviera of the Southwest.
And you know what comes with all of that primo beachfront property? Beach volleyball! #elpasoneedsclimatechange

2. MEGA TSUNAMI

Tsunamis, or giant waves, that are created far out at sea can sneak up on a region without warning. Just look at Japan, they've been dealing with tsunamis so long they immortalized them in their traditional artwork.

A giant wave big enough to reach El Paso would probably have to be the size of Mount Everest. But, if that could cross Texas all the way from the Gulf of Mexico, we'd be left with some pretty nice beaches. All El Pasoans have to worry about is chaining themselves to their houses and making sure they don't get swept out to sea.

3. EARTHQUAKE

The last one is probably the least realistic (I know, we just had global warming and tsunami on the list), but if a big enough earthquake could happen at the right fault line, that would essentially be to the left of El Paso, the entire Western seaboard could fall apart and we would become the new West Coast. Can anybody say, "Hello, El Paso Hollywood?" And you know what El Paso's Muscle Beach will have besides muscles? A beach! Go get it you beach ballers!