15 People You’ll See At An El Paso Open Mic
I’ve been doing stand-up comedy for 9 years in El Paso, and after hundreds of open mics, I can tell you there are REGULARLY 15 types of people that go to them.
Comedy is not really known to attract the most normal and or functioning adults in the world.
Which is what makes them so exciting, because you never know what you’re going to get!
Below are the 15 types of people you'll find at an El Paso Open Mic based on all my years of El Paso nightlife experience.
(Author's Note: For Every 1 Female Comic There Are 10 Male Comics. Because of this, most of the "Types" below refer to men, unless otherwise specified.)
THE BURNOUT
This particular individual comes in three flavors: alcoholic, stoner, and other.
THE OVERLY MACHO GUY
Sometimes from the military sometimes just a Fox News enthusiast, their jokes tend to be loud and proud.
THE SKATEBOARD/ BICYCLE GUY
This person has no other reliable transportation other than their manually powered wheels, which they take full advantage of in order to cross the city, just to go to an open mic, for 5 minutes of stage time....
THE 18-YEAR-OLD GUY
They’ve been a fan of stand up comedy throughout high school, and now they want to try it on stage. But, they're too scared to go by themselves so they bring friends, and when they are "carded" at the door, the host usually comes and saves them.
THE RETIRED 53-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
This person has retired from normal society, but always wanted to be a performer. Open mics are their last grasp at glory.
THE HOMELESS/ CRAZY GUY
Open mics will sometimes offer free food or drinks, which tend to attract people who can’t buy them. That includes the homeless and mentally unstable. They tend to be good though! So what does that say about this artform?
THE SPECTRUM GUY
This person will obsessively write in a small notebook, and in a microscopic font. They consantly read jokes to you, even as you attempt to make it to your car in the parking lot.
THE DRUNK ON-A-DATE GUY
This is somebody who ended up in an open mic but not expecting to, usually, they have a date and they're trying to prove how much funnier they are.
THE SPANISH-ONLY GUY
This person speaks mostly Spanish, and, they want to do their set in Spanish. The answer is always yes, if people don't understand it that's on them. They are from Socorro or Fabens.
THE MIDLIFE CRISIS GUY
This person is a middle-aged mans in the middle of a life crisis at 45 years old. And they're getting divorced, so they turn to comedy to make them feel better.
THE STOCK-JOKE GUY
A person who loves comedy, but isn’t creative enough to write his own jokes. So he prints out internet jokes memorizes them and goes to the open mics. Like nobody recognizes that.
THE MUSICAL GUY
The musician who can't get time at normal mics, so he changes the lyrics to a few songs to make them funny, and then BAM! he's on HBO.
THE MAGICIAN
His name is Gibbs, and he lurks at every open mic potificating, and muttering to anyone who will listen, about how much better he is than you.
THE QUIET OLD-MAN
This is the barfly who sits at the back of the room, usually hidden in the dark, half under a neon Coorslight sign.
THE REGULAR GUY
The rarest form of open mic attendee. He is but legend and myth at this point.
Believe it or not, these types can overlap I know somebody that is all 15 types.
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