Which of These “How Cold Is It” Jokes Aren’t Jokes?
Because of something called a “polar vortex” parts of the U.S. are experiencing record cold temperatures. In Northern Minnesota there was a report of 42 below zero. This has given way to numerous anecdotes about how extreme the cold is. Many of these sound like jokes Johnny Carson would have told. See how you do on this quiz. Which of these “jokes” are not actually jokes at all but valid reports
Setup: Because of this polar vortex, it is SO cold…
How cold IS it?
It is so cold….
1.) …the zoo had to move the polar bear indoors.
2.) …corrupt El Paso officials have their hands in their own pockets.
3.) …anti-freeze is freezing.
4.) …prison escapees are turning themselves in to get indoors.
5.) …people are going into walk-in freezers to warm up
6.) ……the Amish are buying electric blankets.
1.) NOT A JOKE!
It’s so cold that the one polar bear at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago has been hiding in her 40-degree habitat rather than staying outside. Since she was born in captivity, she doesn’t have a thick enough layer of fat to take THIS level of cold.
It will never get that cold.
3.) NOT A JOKE!
“At negative-34 degrees, Prestone freezes. There are actually places in the U.S. that are getting colder than that. Also, your vodka could freeze . . . that freezes at negative-16.51 degrees. “
4.) NOT A JOKE!
“A Kentucky inmate managed to get out of a minimum-security prison on Sunday — and turned himself in the next day at a motel a few miles away, explaining that he wanted to get out of the frigid air. It was 3 degrees in Lexington, with a wind chill of 17 below, when Robert Vick turned himself in at the Sunset Motel and Restaurant.”
5.) NOT A JOKE!
“ A frozen food and dairy manager, Kevin Stoick, 57, told Inforum, ”The only plus about working in the freezer is there’s no wind chill.” The temperature in that back room of the store may have been minus 10 degrees, but he said it was a break from the approximately minus 40 wind chill outside Monday afternoon.”
That’s just silly. Everyone knows the Amish hibernate in winter.