The EP Times had a front page story today about the traffic circles, also known as "roundabouts," that are proving so controversial in El Paso.

I don't thing a roundabout is the answer to every traffic need and there's only one that I regularly drive through.  However, MY traffic circle is the one the paper decided to use as their example of how "confusing" and "frustrating" they are.  To this I say,"poppy-cock."  This specific roundabout (at Country Club and Upper Valley) has the traffic, previously a nightmare, flowing smoothly and safely. As far as being "confusing"... and, I'm saying this with no hyperbole whatsoever ... a blind, retarded monkey could be taught to do it using nothing but a half a banana, a 5 minute session and some rudimentary Helen Keller-style palm sign-language.

I've taken the time to list some tasks that using the roundabout at Country Club and Upper Valley is actually easier the jump below to see.

1.) Falling off a Log

2.) Shooting fish in a barrel

3.) Pinching off a log

4.) Getting Donald Trump to talk about himself

5.) Getting diarrhea at (insert your least favorite restaurant here)

6.) Giving a lap-dance to a Sunland Park Mayoral Candidate

7.) Convincing Mayor Cook to "play a number" on his guitar

8.) Finding a person fluent in Spanish in Wal-Mart.

9.) Paying a stripper to give a lap-dance to your mayoral opponent in Sunland Park

10.) Finding a place to store your shipment of narcotics in Socorro