Easter Candies Ranked by the KLAQ MoSho

Easter is my SECOND favorite candy-related holiday AND my second favorite zombie-themed holiday (Halloween takes number one in both categories).  I asked my morning show cohorts to rank 10 well-known Easter candies from favorite to least favorite. Here’s my list followed by Nico’s and Joanna’s lists.

Enter your number to get our free mobile app

Again, we all had the same list of 10 candies, and here’s how we ranked them.

BUZZ

1.)    Cadbury Eggs

I know this is a controversial choice. Some people despise Cadbury Eggs and some think they’re just TOO sweet. I love everything about them. The white goop inside, the yellow goop inside THAT. Thank you, Jesus, for creating Cadbury Eggs!

2.)    Chocolate Bunny (Solid)

That’s A LOT of chocolate if the bunny is a solid hunk. And, I’m not counting the ones that have marshmallows inside.

3.)    Chocolate Bunny (hollow)

Even if they’re NOT solid, chocolate bunnies are still pretty good. Admit it. You bite the bunny butt off first, too, don’t you?

4.)    Robin’s Eggs

These are actually misshapen, pastel Whoppers. But I like them and I appreciate the attention to detail that goes into making the candy coating speckled like a real robin’s egg.

5.)    Tiny Chocolate Eggs Wrapped in Foil

They’re good but unwrapping each…individual…egg just seems way too labor-intensive and time-consuming for such a small dose of chocolate.

6.)    Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

It’s weird: I like Reese’s Cups. I like the mini-cups. I like Reese’s Pieces. I don’t care for the eggs that much. I think maybe such a big lump of peanut butter reminds me too much of changing diapers.

7.)    Jelly Beans

We’ve reached a real demarcation point on my list. Jelly Beans are the last candy on the list that I don’t actively, passionately hate. I’ll eat a jelly bean or two if they’re right in front of me. I wouldn’t ever go out of my way, even just a few steps, for jelly beans.

8.)    Jordan Almonds

Have you ever popped a Jordan Almond in your mouth, thinking it’s going to have a similar texture and consistency as a peanut M&M? Then, you almost crack a tooth open because they’re so hard? Why are Jordan Almonds so hard? It’s not the almond’s fault. It’s like they coat it with vibranium. It’s like trying to crack a walnut with your teeth. Someone should have said this a century ago: back to the drawing board, Jordan Almonds.

9.)    Bunny Corn

This is just Candy Corn but pink and baby blue instead of yellow and orange. News flash: candy corn sucks and it still sucks if it’s a different color.  Honestly, I’d rather eat the plastic grass in the bottom of the basket.

10.)  Peeps

Whoever invented Peeps should be hauled in front of a tribunal for Crimes Against Candy. Peeps are like if someone took the insole from a used sneaker and sprinkled expired sugar all over it.  Even the little bird faces of the peeps look sad. It’s like each individual Peep KNOWS how terrible it is. Peeps look like scouring pads. In fact, with that abrasive sugar-coating, I’ll bet Peeps do a better job cleaning a frying pan than actual scouring pads.

I’d rather eat a scouring pad than a Peep.

Fuck Peeps.

Here’s JOANNA’S Ranking:

1.)    Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

2.)    Tiny chocolate eggs wrapped in foil

3.)     Robins Eggs

4.)    Chocolate Bunny (hollow)

5.)      Chocolate Bunny (solid)

6.)    Jordan Almonds

7.)    Bunny Corn

8.)    Peeps

9.)    Jelly Beans

10.)  Cadbury Eggs

Here’s how Nico ranked them:

1.)    Jelly Beans

2.)    Peeps

3.)    Chocolate Bunny (hollow)

4.)    Chocolate Bunny (solid)

5.)    Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

6.)    Tiny chocolate eggs wrapped in foil

7.)    Cadbury Eggs

8.)    Jordan Almonds

9.)    Robins Eggs

10.) Bunny Corn