Beyond the morning-after hangover, one of the cornerstones of a night of heavy drinking is the inevitable drunk dial. listen here.

Just ask this poor dude , who received a rather devastating phone call from an unknown (read: inebriated) love interest, who claimed she “hit it off right away” with him, and that they shared the same interest in Yo-Yos, among other things.

The message gets progressively worse as the minutes tick away — not to mention confusing, as the girl claims to work at eBay, only to follow-up by saying she actually works at Jamba Juice. (Which is it?!)

Never before have the words “drink responsibly” had deeper meaning.

 In the meantime, we hope this drunk girl connects with the actual guy she fell so hard for — right after she sobers up.