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Dear Fernie: Answering Questions About Wedding Plans, Beer and Herpes

It’s time for another “Dear Fernie” this time its all about wedding plans, beer and HERPES. If you would like advice you can email me or visit me on twitter and facebook. Feel free to leave your advice also!

Dear Fernie,

I’ve been engaged since Oct/Nov of last year… my parents are divorced… traditionally, the father of the bride pays for the wedding. Right? No one has asked or suggested any plans. How do I tell them to “get on with it ” without being too rude? Sincerely, anonymous…

Dear Anonymous,

It’s 2013 don’t expect for everyone to pay for your wedding. First thing I would do is have an engagement party and have a money tree so that way you can start saving for the wedding. After, I would start planning the wedding yourself and include a few close family members in on the planning. Then suggest each of them pitch in for a couple of things. If you have to sell enchilada dinners or hold car washes and fundraisers. Good Luck and Best Wishes.


Dear Fernie,

How many beers do you need till you go all the way down? Sincerely sexually frustrated

Dear Sexually Frustrated,

You have to take into account a lot of things. How good looking is the person your with. What kind of beer your drinking and how drunk you’d like to be before doing it. Most importantly is the person your with CLEAN. Not just a “I took a shower” clean, I mean from any std’s! If I would go down it would be at least 3 dates. Good Luck and Best Wishes


Dear Fernie,

I recently found out I got herpes. I initially thought it was from a man that had cheated on me so many times. I found out that once I had started trying to date a new (really sweet) guy, that I had contracted it from the new guy. When I had first gotten the call about my results I was hysterical. I almost threw up on the phone because I was crying so hard. After crying, I handled this as a “no big deal, everyone has it” situation. How should I deal with this struggle? Sincerely Go with a hoe you know

Dear Go With A Hoe You Know,

I feel bad for you. I know there is no cure for herpes. You just have to learn how to live with it. I’m sure you have feelings of betrayal and you feel separated from the world. Your in luck tho because there is a rise in STD rates which has sparked online dating sites for people living with the same thing as you. In the future I would say “If your going to put your mouth on it, open your eyes to look at it!” Also talking to the person your going to sleep with is very important. Make sure it’s not cheesy or oozing anything. Good Luck and Best Wishes.




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