There is a high-wind warning today in El Paso with possible gusts up to SEVENTY miles per hour.

Cristobal Baeza on Unsplash
Cristobal Baeza on Unsplash
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The city is advising residents NOT to put out their recycling bins if today is their trash day.

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KFOX has a list of advice for extremely windy days that you can check out here.

Or…you can get the advice they DON’T include in the mainstream media.

Here are: Buzz’s Super-Helpful Tips for Very Windy Days!

(Don’t bother fact-checking these. I already did it for you. You’re welcome.)

1.) Every MPH of wind can lift exactly one pound of weight.

Artem Kniaz on Unsplash
Artem Kniaz on Unsplash
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If you weigh UNDER 70 pounds, you’ll want to put some rocks in your pockets in case one of those 70-mile-an-hour gusts hit you.

2.) Use high-wind days to go on magical adventures!

Dollar Gill on Unsplash
Dollar Gill on Unsplash
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If it gets windy enough, you might be transported into magical realms with whimsical denizens. (PRO TIP: Helps if you’re in Kansas and/or riding a bicycle)

3.) You can alter the direction of the wind using nothing but a Sharpie.

charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
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However, this only applies if you are currently the President of the United States.

4.) Windy days make for great golf!

Courtney Cook on Unsplash
Courtney Cook on Unsplash
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IF you only play the holes where the wind is directly behind you, you can get an extra 25-2,000 yards of distance on your drives (see tip #1)

5.) Use the windy conditions to make hilarious jokes.

Marija Zaric on Unsplash
Marija Zaric on Unsplash
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EXAMPLE: If a friend asks you “Do you have a windbreaker?” answer “Yes”. Then, fart.

(see also: “I haven’t been blown that hard since I was in the Navy!”)

6.) “Wednesday” got its name because it is the windiest day of the week.

Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
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7.) Wind is a great thing to throw caution into.

Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Markus Spiske on Unsplash
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8.) The Spanish term for “high winds” is “mucho gusto”.

Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Jon Tyson on Unsplash
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