8 Observations About the New Avengers Movie

I finally got around to seeing Avengers: Age of Ultron. It was good. Not great, but good. Not as good as the first one, but good. Here are my observations:

1.) The CGI

I thought it was a little dodgy, especially in the opening battle scene. I've come to accept that Hulk is always going to look more like a cartoon than an actual giant green monster---OK, I just caught how ridiculous that sounds. But you know what I mean. How is the CGI so inconsistent, not only from movie to movie, but from scene to scene? Even Captain America jumping around looked unnatural.

2.) AGE of Ultron?

The Age of Enlightenment lasted 120 years. The Age of Discovery lasted over 200. The Middle Ages were 1,000 years long. How long did the Age of Ultron last? A week? Two weeks, tops? That's not an Age. That's barely even a Jiffy.
3.) Fishing off the (S.H.I.E.L.D.) Company Pier

Black Widow and Bruce Banner are an item? I haven't been this surprised about a fictional couple since I found out that Spock and Lt. Uhura were doing it.
4.) Apoca-Lips How?

Why does Ultron have lips? Especially when his voice is clearly coming out of those two boom-box speakers on the side of his cheeks? Are they made of vibranium? How do robot lips even work, design-wise?
5.) Quicksilver

So, is Quicksilver an Eastern European of about 20 years of age? Or, as XMen: Days of Future Past would have it, is he an American teenager living in the Washington D.C. area in the early 1970s? Also, the XMen Quicksilver looks a lot cooler when he was being fast.

6.) Do You Hate Your Teammates, Iron Man?

Hawk-eye and Black Widow are just regular humans. One laser blast or even one errant piece of shrapnel would end it all for them. Even Captain America, a real superhero is more vulnerable than Iron Man. Why, Tony Stark? Why won't you build your teammates their own Iron Man suits??? Do you want them to get killed? Sure, you could argue that Hawk-eye wouldn't be as efficient with his bow and arrow but who cares because he would have an Iron Man suit that shoots rockets and lasers. You suck, Stark.

7.) The Storm-trooper Paradox

How can Tony Stark's army of robots, the Iron Legion, be so indestructible when they're good and then turn so fragile when they're fighting against the Avengers?? They went from being the Iron Legion to the Crepe-paper Legion just by becoming evil . Black Widow even took a couple of them down. With a Glock 26!!
8.) Stan the Man

Stan Lee makes his traditional cameo in Age of Ultron. We've come to expect it. Some of you might even be getting tired of it. But, let me remind you, he won't be doing them forever.
Stan Lee turns 95 this year. 95. He's actually older than Steve Rogers and Rogers was encased in ice for 75 years. Let me put this into some perspective for you.

Stan Lee worked in the Golden Age of Comics. Not the Silver Age when he created...created... Spider-Man, The Fantastic Four and the Xmen. Twenty years before that. The GOLDEN Age. He worked on Captain America when the character was still punching Hitler in the face and telling kids to smoke Lucky Strikes.

Obviously, we need to honor Stan Lee while he's still alive. The world...nay, the multi-verse...will be a poorer place when he's gone. I recommend re-naming one of the States after him. Nothing too flashy. I'm thinking North Dakota. Let's get this done. You kids, with your Kickstarters and your Change.orgs, I'm passing this one off to you. What are you waiting for?? EXCELSIOR!!