Move Over, Elf on the Shelf…Here’s Trump on a Stump and More!

As Christmas traditions go, The Elf on the Shelf is a relative newcomer. It’s only been around since 2005. It’s a great lesson about the wonder of Christmas because you WONDER why you spent $25.99 on a “tradition” that’s only as old as Adam Sandler’s remake of The Longest Yard.

The Elf on the Self has been described as “a marketing juggernaut dressed up as a tradition” and “the perfect mascot for the surveillance state”. But there’s one thing about The Elf on the Shelf that you have to admire: it made the lady who created it now has millions of dollars. That’s why I…in the spirit of the season…am introducing a new holiday tradition. Preeeesenting….

Trump on the Stump

An adorable, naked little Donald Trump watches your child from the nearest available stump and THEN he reports back to…I don’t know…Sean Hannity, maybe? It doesn’t matter. Just send me $29.95!

If you’re not sold on Trump on the Stump, there are several different variations, all guaranteed to bring an expression of some kind to your child’s face.

There’s…

Don on the John

Troll on a Bowl

Schuck on a Truck

Cheater on a Heater

Traitor on a ‘Tater

Scum on a Drum

Felon on a Melon

And, my favorite….

Racist on a Bassist (Credit for this one goes to Brandon for coming up with it!)

And, after all, isn’t that what Christmas is really all about? Incoherent nonsense that only makes sense to people with less than a middle school education?