Man vs. Tortoise – Who ‘Ya Got? [VIDEO]

We all know who won the race between the tortoise and the hare but, what happens when the tortoise is pitted against a man?

I don't know how big tortoises get in general but, this guy has certainly been eating well. Exercising and keeping in shape to I guess heck, you could almost even call this fella "quick". Turns out, "Tort-anic" and his honey were getting busy when this guy and his camera crew showed up.  The frustrated, and probably really pissed off, tortoise chased (or would that be followed?) the human you-know-what block 400 yards before rushing back to his honey.

Ok, maybe not "rushed".  Anyway, he went back to getting his groove on and, after however long it takes to develop a little 'tort-illa', there should be new blood tearing through the jungle.

Meanwhile, the tortoises at the El Paso Zoo are like...