Some people just accept jury duty, some people love it and some people will do anything to get out of it. Here are a few ideas for that last group...

Bear in mind, that I'm not an attorney. I am, however, a fully licensed and bonded smart-ass so, some of these ideas are to be used at your own risk.

There are several ways you can legally skip out on your civic duty. The elderly get a pass if they're over 70 as do certain students, primary caregivers and those facing financial hardships. Active duty military also have an out under certain conditions.

Physical and mental impairments can get you off the hook too. (The mental card should work for rme.) If none of the genuine excuses work for you, let's see about ensuring that you don't actually get picked once you're there.

  • The inability to speak and fully understand English sometimes works. If you speak Spanish, even badly, you can fake this one.
  • If you know a Doctor, get a medical excuse. A monkeypox diagnosis should do.
  • Don't know a doctor? Cough and sneeze ... a lot.
  • Tell them the spirits of your ancestors create a glowing aura around guilty people.
  • Remind the court that being judgemental isn't nice.
  • Curl up in a fetal position and whimper.
  • Blow kisses and/or wink at the Judge. If you're both the same sex, the odds of you being bounced go up some.
  • Show up in one of those sexy cop costumes.
Photo, Amazon
Photo, Amazon

Caution - If the judge is a guy, that last one could backfire and land you on every jury. It could also get you a gig as his secretary. Whether you can type or not.

Read more here and good luck.

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