If you’ve watched a second of NFL in the past two years, you’ve seen this. Bucs tight end and future hall-of-famer Rob Gronkowski tries to bamboozle military insurance that he isn’t eligible for while being made fun of for being a mentally handicapped man.

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So, in this series of commercials, military insurance from USAA is the Trix and Gronk is the stupid rabbit. Ain’t neither one of them ever getting their hands on that sweet, sweet cereal/financial services plan.

BaseFEST Powered By USAA At Naval Station Mayport
Getty Images for USAA
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Now, I get what’s in it for USAA. It’s a memorable ad, especially when they air in 700 times, minimum, per game. I just can’t get why GRONK agreed to it. He’s making fun of his own reputation as a brainless meatball, which is fine I guess. At least until the full extent of his CTE is made public. But, the ongoing premise is that Gronk is trying to get services that he isn’t entitled to because he never served in the U.S. military. This is also known as “Stolen Valor."  It would be like if Specs ran an ad where Travis Kelce is asked if he is eligible for the military discount and he says “yes”.

Here’s Gronk hilariously trying to rope an Army veteran into helping him commit a federal crime.

OK, I get that it’s a joke. But isn’t it weird that Rob Gronkowski, one of the most popular and marketable players in the league, agreed to do this one? Wait…one second. I’m being told they backed up a Brinks truck full of twenty-dollar bills at Gronk’s door. THAT explains it.

I just hope they didn’t have to raise veteran’s rates TOO much to pay a millionaire to pretend to be a despicable opportunist.

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