Anthony Man Says He’s Not Flashing, Just Shaking the Dew Off His Lily

KVIA has a story about an on-going controversy in the sleepy hamlet of Anthony. Women there are complaining about a local, elderly man who exposes himself whenever a woman who fits his “type” (older, heavy-set, your mom) walks by his yard.

As he explains in this amazing video, he’s not exposing himself…it’s these pervy fat women who keep checking him out while he’s peeing on his own property. As for the reports that he’s masturbating? The man explains that he has to “shake it” really good to make sure he doesn’t soil himself. Before you scoff, let me remind you of those ancient lines of verse by some long-forgotten poet: “No matter how you shake and dance, the last two drops go in your pants.”

To see the video click [HERE]